Realization

Yesterday was a bad day for me, like it was very gloomy. But i learned things about me i didn't know and i realized many things that i have been trying to avoid or just in denial. Like lately it seemed yudha and me haven't been.. our relationship wasn't okay. I know i have issues but i just didn't want it to be real, didn't want to face it. it seemed better to run away from my problems and just put it away. the way i was and not wanting to change was affecting our relationship. i was pushing him away and not letting him in. Not opening up and talking it out won't do any good to have a good/strong relationship. I came to terms that the way i was being is that my guard was up and i didn't want to put it down because i am afraid. Afraid of being happy and in love. My cousin helped me open my eyes and gave me good advice. I mean i gone through this same problems many time but this time it sunked it and i reallly listened. I got a good life lesson yesterday and also realized that there are people who cares about me. i have really good friends:]<3 and i'm happy. I'm sorry boyfriend for not listening to you and not understanding what you are trying to say. i love you for still staying with me and dealing with all this. i'm hoping to change.. for my own good, for me to be better.
i'm blessed with good friends, family and my boyfriend.
thank you and i couldn't ask for more.